being real

new family blog

2009-04-06T20:47:00.000-05:00

More here on what's happening with Korry and I...

http://familiadeashton.blogspot.com/

OK

2009-01-28T10:34:00.003-05:00

Two snow days, and a lot of pressure from a sweet Donut of a friend, brings me back to my blog. Still, I sit here thinking that I am sure that only 1 person will see this. Here's to you, Donut.

I can't even remember the last time I wrote. I'd have to visit my blog to remind myself and after my difficulties logging in after such a long blogging hibernation, I'd rather not.

I imagine, however, that I didn't write at all during my full-time student teaching last semester. Wow. That seems like years ago now! It was amazing. I had the honor of working with one of the best teachers in Monroe County, no doubt. I learned from her things that I would rather die than forget to implement in my future classroom. Yes, I said "future" because right now, my classroom is wherever someone was too sick, tired, or busy to come into their own. That's right...I'm a Substitute Teacher. To be honest, though, before you roll your eyes, I've loved being back in the classroom...even if it's not in any way my own. My school (I call them my own without their permission) has called me nearly every day since winter break ended to sub in the building. I'll never forget when I saw a few of my 6th grade boys from last semester and my heart stuttered. I love those kids.

In the midst of subbing, I find myself with nothing to prepare or study each night before teaching the next day. Therefore...there is time that was never there before. Given that I am more successful with too much to do rather than not enough, it was a good thing I found Edward.

Edward actually found me, really. Edward Cullens. Before I start to spew more than you are interested to know about my late obsession with Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga, if you don't know what I'm talking about, google it. If you do, than there is no explanation necessary. I love him and that's all there is to it.

After finishing all 4 books in the series within 3 weeks, I am trying to move on in desperation. Harry and Hagrid are vying for Edward's spot, but not doing very well. We'll see.

In all the other hours that surround a school day, I am teaching 6 Jazzercise classes a week and still loving it. My hair is still short and I'm contemplating what it would feel like to be able to have a pony-tail again. With each stroke of the keyboard I hear the scraping of our snow shovel outside. My dear Korry has been shoveling the whole time I've been writing. And there was the door...

Until the next snow day.

A Journal: Europe 2007

2007-07-09T11:17:00.000-05:00

Well, it was my first trip to Europe...and it was a quick one! Unfortunately, I didn't have internet access while I was overseas so I'll have to recollect the events as I write post-adventure. I hope you enjoy reading about this journey as much as I did being there! Haha...yeah right!

Day 1: Indy to Chicago to NY to Dublin to London (June 29-30, 2007)

Well, let's just say it was a LONG day. Our flight left from Indy at 5:40am so we had to be there by 4:30am which meant we had to leave the house by 3:30am. I mean, what is the point of sleeping? I was up the whole night packing anyway, so I didn't sleep. Our flight to Chicago was short and sweet in many ways...it was actually short in flying time, we were SO excited for the trip, and I was able to catch a few (and I mean just a few) winks on Korry's shoulder. Airplane sleep is never real sleep anyway. From Chicago we landed in NY and met my sister (who had been traveling all night/morning from LA without any sleep) and my parents who live in NY part of the year. We had a quick NY lunch and then made our way to the other NY airport. We arrived, suprisingly, with plenty of time to spare. We ate fast food in the post-security pre-boarding international flight area and were already exhausted...no sleep and airport after airport is not a good plan.

Regardless of our physical or emotional exhaustion, we arrived in Dublin, Ireland and received our first (of the trip) stamp on our passports. We were there just long enough to run outside, breathe some Irish air, take a few pics, and head to our gateway to London.

The airline staff in Dublin were the friendliest of the trip, minus the American customs agent who so warmly said, "Welcome home."

So, we headed to London Heathrow Airport arriving with only one day of sightseeing and one night of rest (yeah right). We took a sightseeing double-decker bus tour around London hopping on and off whenever we wanted. We saw all the major monuments: Big Ben (he really is big), Buckingham Palace (the guards were awesome), St. Paul's Cathedral (only from the outside because they wouldn't let us in without an "invitation"...interesting paradox, huh?), and all the others. Most importantly, we found a real English pub and ordered a few "pints of bitter".

Day 2: Paris, France (July 1, 2007)

We took the "Chunnel" from London to Paris, a 2.5 hour train ride partly in an underwater tunnel across the English Channel (hence it's name "Chunnel"). Now this was another story all-together. This was our first brush with the reality that Americans were not loved in all countries. As we were running extremely late for our train (they had to hold the train for us 3 "lateners"), I was so paranoid that the train was going to leave without us that I jumped onto the first coach with an open door, luggage and all; Carla and Korry followed. I entered into an almost silent coach that immediately recognized us as Americans by shooting disgusted smirks and rolling eyes right down that skinny, little aisle between the two seating sections. Long story short: I had to play Tetris with all the other people's luggage to get ours to fit somewhere, we falsely accused some Frenchmen of being in our seats, we sat in someone else's seats, but we still arrive in Paris in the end. It's to no surprise that we didn't take any pictures on that train.

In Paris, we took LOTS of pictures. Did I mention that from this entire trip we took 224 pictures (not to mention the 226 pics my sister, Carla, took)? We navigated, much to our own credit if I may, from the train station all the way to our quaint little (very little) pink and green hotel room in Montmarte, Van Gogh and other famous artists' old stomping grounds. It was breathtaking...just like you see in the movies: small, cobblestone roads - tall, intricate apartment buildings lining the streets - and, most of all, artists everywhere!

Within walking distance from our hotel were major monuments
Montmarte Artists' Colony (where many famous artists started their studios), Sacre Couer (a cathedral of which we climbed over 400 stairs to the top and got a view of Paris like none other), and The Moulin Rouge. Most exciting, though, was climbing the Eiffel Tower at night. To be honest, I was terrified to be so high in the sky...it took a LOT of convincing to get me in that elevator (and you bet I kept a strong grip on the metal bars). It was beautiful (and you can imagine how excited my light designer husband was when it lit up like a constant firecracker). We also ate at a local French restaurant in Trocadero Square for 2 hours...it was terrible service and we couldn't ask for anything since we don't speak the littlest bit of French! We made it back to our hotel late (no surprise there) and with a few winks of sleep (maybe 3 hours), headed to the Beauvais Airport to fly to Rome.

Day 3: Rome (July 2, 2007)

We arrrived in Rome, Italy at around 11:30am where we met my other sister, Erica (the one who was already with me is Carla). We rented a car and headed into central Rome where all the sights are. We quickly found ourselves on the Metro (they don't call it "subway" there because it goes both under and above ground at times) and finally at The Spanish Steps (where many famous artists, authors, and the like hung out). Today, LOTS of tourists are now taking temporary residence on those steps. At the bottom of those Spanish Steps was the greatest gelato (Italian ice cream) place that we found (and trust me, we tried many...about 2 a day). Around the corner was the amazing Fountain de Trevi (subject of many familiar works like the song "Three Coins in the Fountain" and others). This was my favorite sight of the entire trip. It seemed like it had dropped out of the sky making just enough clearing through the tall buldings and narrow cobblestone roads. It was HUGE. No picture does it justice...I can't even compare it to anything I've seen in the US. It would be amazing for someone to create such a fountain today, but way back then...without technology, power tools, etc...unbelieveable. We did the traditional ritual: throw three coins over your left shoulder (one at a time) and make two wishes. The 3rd wish is always "to come back to Rome". Another spectacle was The Pantheon housing the ceiling dome off of which many others were based. The humongous (sp?) pillars in front were imported and made in ONE piece...yeah, one piece. I can't imagine the process. We had our first Italian cuisine in Rome...pasta re-defined, or perhaps...defined for the first time. Olive Garden will never be the same now.

Alas, that evening, we came home to our villa: Le Balze. Wow...those paintings of Tuscany...suprisingly accurate, but not anywhere close to as beautiful. I wish our pictures could show how amazing it was, but nothing can show it as we saw and felt it. We had our own vineyard, olive trees, vegetable garden, and pool for starters. We already talked about coming back in 2009!

Day 4: Florence (July 3, 2007)

Florence was only an hour away from our villa...or so our directions said. Someone told us that we should always plan an additional hour into driving time for getting lost. They were right. So, about 2 hours later, we were in parking spots in Florence. Today was a great day...not only were the sights amazing, we were finally all together: Lisa, Ping, the boys, Erica, Carla, Korry, and I. It was so great to be together and being in such a beautiful place only made it more amazing. We saw Il Duomo (cathedral) and Michelangelo's statue of David. Let's pause there...David. Wow. You'd think he was life size...wrong, he was gigantic. You'd think his body shape and facial expression wouldn't look real...wrong, he was so real looking, his gaze, veins, leg muscles were astonishingly real. I was amazed...have I used that word too many times already? I better start thinking of another one...

That evening, we went to dinner in Cortona (the city where our villa is). Slap happy and going a little nutty in the cabeza, we took some weird pictures. Dinner was great...tasty seafood pasta!

Day 5: Cortona and The Villa (July 4, 2007)

Today, we took a day off from running around sightseeing. Instead we ran around at the villa...sleeping in, having brunch at a local cafe, swimming, making Pinecone Stew (my nephews' creation), and playing a knock-down, drag-out game of Starwars (another of my nephews' creations). Another great day...and some much needed rest.

Day 6: Venice (July 5, 2007)

A whole city without cars...so quiet! The only place like it on Earth, Venice forbades any cars or motorized vehicles other than small boats! Famous for their lace, blown glass, and gondola rides, Venice was a packed-in day trip. We went shopping in the famous Open Market, saw a glass blowing demonstration (very cool), saw Saint Mark's Cathedral and it's million pigeons, and took a gondola ride with beloved...Paolo. He sang underneath his breath (if he would've sang any louder it would've cost us 30 additional Euros...no joke!), wore the traditional red and white stripped shirt, and had that sultry Italian accent that none of us could really imitate well (even though we tried). The waterways were thin and the bridges were low, but Paolo had it under control. I'd love to go back and stay a while...a place like no other, really.

Day 7: Rome (July 6, 2007)

So, we made it back to Rome for some more...our 3rd wish from the Fountain de Trevi had already come true! This time, we got to see The Vatican Museum, The Sistene Chapel (Michelangelo's ceiling masterpiece), Saint Peter's Basillica (under which Saint Peter's remains lie to rest), Saint Peter's Square, and the Colosseum (the home of gladiators and historical Roman entertainment). The history couldn't get any richer! Michelangelo's Sistene Chapel ceiling told every major bible story in a way I've never seen or heard...and to think he did it ALL BY HIMSELF (sometimes on his back or even upside down). The Basillica was breathtaking and in it was a sculpture that brough me to tears...the Pieta. How astonishing that a rock once rejected by artists is now the most real image of Mary and Jesus after his death. I couldn't look at it for too long, it was actually hard to keep looking at her face!

And, then...the Colosseum. Can you say, HUGE? Wow, there were underground passageways to protect the gladiators from the public, 75,000 seats, and so many deaths that they stopped counting in this place. It was outside of the Colosseum that I had the best club sandwich I've ever had...very unexpected, but oh so needed at the time. This sight almost ties the Fountain de Trevi for me...

That evening, we stayed at a nasty little hotel in Rome. Erica headed back to the villa to join Lisa and Ping (and company) for a few days in Venice and then back to the US. The nasty Rome hotel was not worth all that it took to get there...2 hours of driving around in circles. When we finally got there, we ate at the hotel restaurant...nasty again...bad service, packaged dried breadsticks, and $4 miniature Sprite bottles to drink. Thank goodness the pasta was ok...messing up pasta in Italy is like messing up a pb&j sandwich here! The icing on the nasty cake was the fact that in our non-airconditioned room, there was only one king-sized bed for the three of us. Guess who had to sleep in the middle? Yup, sleeping on the crack was interesting. Good thing we were exhausted...our close quarters didn't bother us too badly.

Day 8: Rome to Germany to New York (July 7, 2007)

We made it to Rome on-time...surprise surprise! Flew to Germany...another stamp on the passports and the most thorough security checkpoints I've ever experienced. Flew to New York, a seven-and-a-half hour flight...two meals, two movies, and no sleep. Mom and Dad picked us up at JFK Airport with lots of questions and big smiles. We ate at Gray's Papaya (famous hot dog joint in NY), unpacked into Erica's apartment, and headed to Hartsdale (where my parents apartment is) to celebrate Carla's 28th birthday.

Too bad we were all asleep on the couch within 2 hours!

Day 9: New York and Back Home

The next day, jet-lag set in. All three of us were awake (and rather annoyed at that) at 6am. We were out on the usually busy NY streets before anyone else was out...the vendors were hosing down the sidewalks and the bakeries were just opening. We wandered into a cafe, had breakfast, and then went flea-marketing. Later that afternoon, we met Mom and Dad and went to Chinatown for the best wonton soup and lychee ice cream in the US. Then it was off to the airports again...and then,..back home.

one chance at a healthy me

2007-08-22T12:43:00.001-05:00

Ok, so this thought has been haunting me since someone said it to me a few years ago...yeah, that's right...I've been thinking about this one thing for a few years! She said, "You only get one chance for a healthy body...this is it." Her thought went on to say that we only get one body and we should/need to take care of it. Convicting, huh?

So, while I was vacationing...I mean, lounging...in LA with my sisters, I made it a point to do something "active" everyday. I defined "active" as 30 minutes (or more) of increased heart rate activity. Some days it meant running, most days it meant swimming. Now that I'm back in Indiana, without a pool or the ocean, I am finding it harder to stay motivated...running around my neighborhood isn't as fun as swimming in the ocean or running along the shoreline! Here's a shot of where I was running...now that's motivational!

So, here I find myself saying (or writing) outloud in order to make a pledge...I will take care of this one body I have...I will take this one chance at a healthy me! Here are a few "everyday" things I'm going to try to increase healthy, active (non-lazy) living:

Take the parking spot further away from the store
Always return my cart to the "cart corral"
Using the front door instead of the garage
Walking the "long" way to and from classes
Wash my car by hand instead of taking it to the carwash
Limiting myself to 2 hours of tv per day

a dog's life

2007-09-08T20:52:00.000-05:00

Can I just say that I want my dogs' life. Here is their daily routine:

Sleep until someone wakes up

Go outside, if I want to (or need to)

Play morning fetch, then go on "w-a-l-k"

Look out the window/Bark/Sniff/Look out the window (repeat throughout day)

Sleep until someone gets home

Eat when the people eat

Sleep until it's time to go to sleep

This summer, I actually had the chance to live their routine...I had a lot of vacation this summer! But now...oh (sigh)...it is so very drastically different. Here is my new daily routine (since school started again):

Wake up and throw something in the toaster

Play morning fetch with dogs (while toasting is happening)

Wake husband, Make breakfast (toasted something with juice)

Get ready to leave

Leave with toasted something and juice in hand

Drive to and park at Bryan park

Walk 1.5 miles to IU School of Education

Attend classes (back to back)

Walk 1.5 miles back to Bryan Park

Drive home

Make dinner (quickly)

Study/Do Homework (while dinner is cooking and until I fall asleep)

Not much like the dogs' life, huh? You're probably wondering when my time with Korry happens. Well, unfortunately, until I get myself disciplined and consistently on-task (haha!), that happens "in between". Thus, the recent increase in stupid fights and misunderstandings. Ugh! It's amazing how those two are correlated. So, here's to the life I have...surely not a dog's life...but mine nonetheless. So, as my mother always says, "Life is what you make it!" and I'm trying...

high and low

2007-09-08T21:30:00.001-05:00

I like to play this little game called "high and low". Basically, you tell your highest "high" moment and your lowest "low" moment from the last week (month, day, whatever you want). So here are mine from this weekend (I always like to start with the "low"...ending on a positive note feels better):

LOW: Getting into a stupid fight with Korry during our weekly "Saturday Morning Breakfast" - a precious time we invented and made into a weekly tradition. The fight was a direct result of not having enough time together in the past week. Ironically, it stole the only time we had set aside this weekend to be together. Definitely not worth missing out on this cherished ritual.

HIGH: Admitting (outloud to someone else) that I don't have it all together and that I've been pretending that I do for so long that I started to believe it. Worst of all, I think I started to live like I do. This unexpectedly came from a Sunday lunch meeting with some dear friends. Thanks, guys.

What are your highs and lows? I want to know!

upside down

2007-09-15T11:54:00.000-05:00

Funny how things come full circle, huh? I wrote a song a few years ago called "Upside Down". Here are some of the lyrics:

upside down

He'll turn your life around

just when you start to grow in

the world just as you know it

will be upside down

To be honest, I hadn't thought about that song or even the concept of it for a long time. Apparently, God wanted to remind me...just like the song says. He used a few close friends to gently lead me to my own acceptance of where and who I really am.

You see, I'm really good at convincing myself (and sometimes others) that I have it under control. I like to be in control so it works out. I have a nice car, nice house, cute clothes, cute husband, two dogs, lots of flower pots, I'm in a grad school program that was really hard to get into, I exercise regularly, I go to church, I serve in and outside of church, and if you sent around a piece of paper in church (I go to a rather large church) asking if people know me...I would get a lot of signatures! Doesn't this sound like such a nice, clean, pretty picture? Those are my favorite pictures. The truth is, yes, it is nice picture, but it's not the whole picture.

A close friend said to me, "I don't mean to offend you, but...you need to get caught up." WHAT?!!! Get caught up?!! That would mean that I am behind...that I am not where I should be...that other people are better than me...that I am not perfect...that I am a failure...WHAT?!!! Over a 30 minute drive sobbing in my car alone...I actually argued with myself out loud. I've never done that before...I felt "caught"...like someone has been watching and following me for as long as I've been pretending, waiting for the moment for me to slip so they can yell, "Gotcha!". And that is exactly what happened...

A confession:

I don't have it all together...actually I'm a mess.

An acceptance:

It's ok...I guess (people tell me)...to not have it all together. I've also been told that there is freedom in "not having it all together". I don't really understand this quite yet, but I can understand the logic behind it.

I'm learning to say this out loud to other people (not only alone in my car) and to redefine what it means to "have it all together". Maybe having it together means knowing that you don't have to have it all together? Maybe it means being ok with not being perfect? Maybe it means you can't possibly have it all together without help? Maybe.

look to the right...new section

2007-09-20T10:42:00.001-05:00

Teachings: A Few Things I'm Learning as a Teacher

noteable quotes from field professionals, field not-so-professionals, and the best...kids

random reflections, realizations, and revelations about teaching

weird wonderings about myself as a teacher

Enjoy!

Photo Info: here

welcome back, caffeine!

2007-09-23T12:04:00.000-05:00

After a 4-year sabbatical, caffeine has re-entered my life. Like a lot of things enter my life, caffieine was no different...it came in desperation. Grad school = reading, reading, and reading with a side of writing, writing, and writing.

Those of you who know me well, know that I work best under pressure. This is still true, however, along with my re-discovery of caffeine...I also re-discovered: naps. Ah...siesta time at the Ashton House is from 3pm - 5pm. I know, I know...now you don't feel bad for me anymore, right? Reading, reading, reading...yeah right! No, really, I have found that the Europeans have got it down...siesta is a very important part of a well-functioning day. I will never forget all the days in Europe when the stores would lower their gates, turn off the lights, and promise to return a few hours later because it was SIESTA TIME! I love it. Anyway, I have now become so pathetic (or lucky) that I need both a cup of morning brew (mine is more like liquid candy) and an afternoon siesta. If I hit 4pm not against a pillow and without having had my liquid candy earlier, I am worthless.

Take a nap today...you'll join the dark-side sooner or later! Try a coffee that tastes more like candy...you'll have more than one sweet tooth in a week or so.

A Coffee-Related Confession:

The two little Starbucks mugs that I tried to sneak to Goodwill because they didn't match the other mugs are now my favorite mugs to use (see picture above). Honey, YOU WERE RIGHT (there, I said it). They are the perfect size. Can we get more? Heehee.

what i would do for a couple of dogs

2007-10-06T15:54:00.000-05:00

So, I love my dogs. They are spoiled dogs and it just got worse. Despite my reluctancy to spend more than $5 at any one time, I am sometimes more willing to endulge the pups than myself or anyone else!

A few days ago, we came home and found all the rugs in the house crumpled into a pile that was warm and covered with yellow lab hair. A few days later, Korry had left a basket of socks in the family room and when we got home, all the socks had been taken out of the basket and relocated into a pile on the floor...another make-shift bed. You think she was trying to tell us something? Well, I got the hint.

My search for dog beds was like most things, over-analyzed and over-priced. But, alas, I came home with two matching way-too-big earthy-toned memory foam dog beds. And, yes, they were more than $5. I have to remind myself to breathe as I think about how much they were. (Sigh.) Most importantly, Wodie and Gobo have quickly adopted these over-priced pillows (even though the old man in front of me at Sam's tried to warn me that I was wasting my money and time - why do people do that?). Oh, just to see their little furry butts circling around and around to calcluate the exact spot to collapse onto with their floppy ears and mouths draped all over the earthy-toned machine-washable cover...

This day is the product of a whole life-time of love for animals. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was little until I started high school science classes. I had horses, dogs, hamsters, turtles, rabbits, and a stow-away cat who was eventually deported from our greenhouse. Anyway, there are countless times I have stopped or made the driver stop to pick up stray animals. I'll never forget the one time I forced my sister to stop for two overweight bulldogs (the ones that look like walking meatballs) and put them in the back of our Dad's Mercedes Benz. We still laugh about that one today. Now, with the advice of my wonderful husband, I leave these Indiana dogs to run the streets throwing their very lives at the wind forcing myself to believe that he is right. That "this is the way it is in Indiana, dogs run around and still know how to get home." So, I am limited to my own house as to where I will continue my mission to save animals. The result: spoiled-rotten dogs.

celebrating...well, me.

2007-11-08T09:37:00.000-05:00

Last Monday was my birthday and I think it was my favorite so far. Those of you who know me well know that I celebrate my birthday MONTH. Not day or weekend, it's a whole month of birthday fun! Yeah, by the time we get to Thanksgiving, for some odd reason, people start to focus more on turkeys and cornucopias and I'll never understand that, but anyway. I know you're probably thinking that I'm all about the presents and money-filled cards, but I am. No, just kidding, I'm not. Here's what made it so wonderfully birthdayish:

First, I received birthday phone calls from every one in my immediate family and closest friends, found giftbags on my doorstep, and got cards from everyone in Korry's family! Way to go, guys!

Second, even though part of my day was spent in classes, my classmates sang to me and presented me with the delicious gourmet vending-machine pastry, a Hostess Cupcake...ah, ol' faithful.

Third, my Korry picked me up from class (I didn't have to walk even though with all the sugar in my near future I probably should have). I walked into a shrimpy house (this is a good thing) where I was greeted by fresh flowers in a vase, shrimp scampi over noodles, a husband-baked cake (you should've been there to see the sprinkles spelling out my name with a too-big "T" and the smallest ran-out-of-room sprinkle "a" ever...oh wait, you can...just look below), and a bottle of wine. I know, you're wondering "could it get any better?" Oh yes. It can. We spent the rest of the evening...lounging! Yes, I said LOUNGING...c'mon, keep it clean, guys! We watched tv for the rest of the night and it was perfect!

So, as I look forward to another year of life, I have a few things I want to try:

Go to Holiday World in Santa Claus, IN
Go to Oliver Winery and have a picnic
Lose 10 pounds
Learn to be a better photographer
Finish my wedding scapbook (started July 2004!)
Learn to manage my stress better
Write and send more letters/cards to people I care about

So, here's to another year of life (and no, I'm not going to tell you which year it is). What was your favorite birthday?

gonna make it, gonna make it...

2007-12-04T09:43:00.001-05:00

Over the past few weeks as the semester drew to a close, I was actually wishing it wasn't ending so quickly. The reason? One reason only: I needed more time to finish my ginormous final projects for each class!!! Ever since the week before Thanksgiving, I have been stressed out, sick, and not-sleeping in preparation of this week (finals week). Thank goodness I don't have any actual exams, just ginormous projects that will make up at least 20% of my final grade in each cours. Huh. Anyway...this is how I felt.

Remember the movie "The Three Amigos" (one of my all-time favorites)? The hilarious one with Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Chevy Chase as the American movie stars that save Santa Poco? If you have no idea what I am talking about...shame on you, you are now dismissed to leave this post.

Ok, so recall the scene where Lucky Day (Steve Martin) is trapped in the prisoner cell in El Guapo's basement. He's chained against the wall with handcuffs on both wrists and ankles. BUT...there is a lever at the other side of the cell that releases the tension in his chains...if he could JUST reach it. Pulling himself away from the wall is an endeavor of great stength and if you remember, Lucky Day is no body-builder. So, he musters up all of his strength to try making baby steps towards the lever. With each step he cheers himself on with "Gonna make it. Gonna make it!" After being slammmed back to the wall a few times and trying again, he finally makes it!

That is how I've felt over the last few weeks and, yesterday...I pulled the lever! The semester is over! WOOHOO! I made it! And for those of you who are wondering:

Did she really just make a serious reference to The Three Amigos? Yes.

What is she talking about? Rent the flick.

When does the next semester start? Don't ask.

photo courtesy of http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0WTefUibVVHCHUBuRSjzbkF/SIG=12bhfrfcu/EXP=1196867234/**http%3A//www.aboutstarz.com/round7/chevychase/index4.html

have a MERRY Christmas and a HAPPY new year!

2007-12-20T23:20:00.001-05:00

a little virtual Christmas card for all my bloggy friends...have a great one!

Christmas in Cali

2007-12-28T09:45:00.000-05:00

As always, we had a great time with my-side of the fam in California...

We practiced being a "Rock Band"...

Took walks down to the beach...

Played with new camera toys...

Met some of the neighbors (seals, dolphins, starfish, people)...

And, the best, spent lots of time together...

I hope you had a good one too...

the bucket list

2008-02-20T20:42:00.003-05:00

Have you seen the new (ok, recent) Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman movie "The Bucket List"? Well, you need to. And, yes, it is about what you think or heard it is: two older men, strangers at first. Both terminally ill with cancer. Roomates in the hospital. Then...partners for life. One of them, extremely negative and cynical millionaire. The other, a hopeful genius. Eventually and almost accidentally, they agree to make a list of things they want to do before they "kick the bucket". Oh, and, since one of them was a millionaire, money was not a concern. So, the whole thought of this is a little morbid, I know, but real enough to make me think...what would I put on my list?

They included things like laughing until they cried (which I've done, trust me, everyone should), skydiving, and others (I won't spoil it for you). Anyway, I've been thinking about what I would put on my list even though I am not terminally ill. But wait...aren't we all? Aren't we all preparing for what these men were? We just don't have an end date. We don't know the second half of our timeline. What we do know is...it will end at some point. So why not have a list? And why not get started now? Here are a few things I think I'll put on mine...

visit every state in the US
record an album
own a horse and barn
work in a botanical nursery
write and publish a book
have children
visit the Philippines, Africa, and Spain
learn to do a REAL cartwheel
teach a child to read

What would you put on your list? (Remember, money isn't a concern!)

anybody out there?

2008-07-16T20:40:00.004-05:00

Hellllooooooo? Anybody out there??????

It has been a very long time since I last wrote. I sit here wondering if anyone has missed my writing or if my blog (along with most electronic newsreel nowadays) has disappeared into the technological galaxy. Do I dare to ask you, reader, to comment so I know you actually care that I write again?

It is obvious, to me at least, that much has happened since my last post. It would be quite dreadful if nothing had, wouldn't it? The question is, however, what is noteworthy and qualified of your precious internet time?

Maybe you'd like to know that I teach five Jazzercise classes a week now and feel like I'm in the best shape I've ever been.

Maybe you'd like to know that we (meaning, my husband) installed new wood flooring in our house which almost makes me want to postpone our move so we can enjoy it for longer.

Maybe you'd like to know that I still have short hair and actually want to cut it shorter if I could pull it off without looking like Shirley Temple or Annie.

Maybe you'd like to know that while my husband was installing new flooring in our house, I was vacationing in LA at my parents' house...soaking up the sun, throwing an engagement party for my sister, and jazzercising so I wouldn't die when I came back to teaching five classes a week.

Maybe you'd like to know that my sister is engaged (oh, but now you already knew that since I mentioned it in the line above).

Maybe you'd like to know that this next semester is my final semester in grad school. I'll be student teaching full-time and am totally freaked out at the fact that I will be teaching 6th grade MATH!

Maybe you'd like to know that our dogs are doing just fine minus the fact that they seem to shed enough fur everyday to make a third dog they can play with.

Maybe you'd like to know that the neighbor across the street just moved into a nursing home and I feel terrible that I've never actually had a conversation with him.

Maybe you'd like to know that the air conditioning in my Jeep is not working and it is very very hot in there and that the windows fog up like crazy when it's raining but I can't open the windows because it's raining and the fan no matter how high it is doesn't do anything and I sometimes have to pull over until it defogs by itself which can take quite a while.

Maybe you'd like to know that my husband just came in and advised me not to post something on my blog while in my "current state" which technically could be diagnosed as monthly moodiness. (Or maybe you didn't want to know that.)

Maybe you'd like to know that my sister who lives in San Francisco might be moving back to southern Cali and we are all very very excited at the possibility of our whole family being in the same vicinity. Just to be able to spontaneously have lunch together would be such a huge event for us.

Or maybe you didn't really want to know any of this, but in the event that there are any readers out there...here's to you!

an aerobics instructor? me?

2008-04-21T18:50:00.005-05:00

Yup. And it gets better...

This past weekend, I was certified as a Jazzercise instructor. I know what you are thinking...old women in thong leotards, leg warmers and head bands, dancing to techno music? Wrong!

For the past three years, I have been "doing Jazzercise" at the Bloomington Sportsplex. When I first started, my instructor told me that I would make a great instructor and suggested that I think about it. I laughed and graciously said, NO. I loved working out to current music, dancing like a fool, and sweating the fat away, but while I can sing in front of thousands, getting on stage to dance and/or workout was not in my cards (as I read them). Well, three years and 40 pounds later, I am an instructor.

You're probably still thinking that Jazzercise is some lame, out-dated workout regime that doesn't really work. Remember what I said above? 40 pounds?! It has been my primary exercise for the last three years and it works! Not only does it work, it is hilariously fun! Women AND men of all ages dance around like fools burning 500 calories per class. Really! Ok, enough advertising. I'll tell you about my certification process...

Becoming an instructor was not a simple process. Four months ago, I had to pass a pre-screening movement audition. They had to make sure I could do all the moves correctly. Then, the cramming began. I had to learn and memorize 10 routines before April 18th when I would go to the official audition to become an instructor. Out of the 10 routines, the judges would choose 2 that I would have to "teach" (perform) in front of them and the other people auditioning (with no advance warning I might add). Oh wait...I almost forgot.

Before I could even perform my 2 chosen routines, I had to pass a PHYSIOLOGY EXAM. Yes, that's right. Naming the muscles, bones, how the body works, CPR, first aid, physical health, and more. The exam had 107 questions on it and I stressed about every one of them. I only missed 5! Go me!

So, there I was, after I passed the physiology exam, standing on the stage waiting to hear what 2 songs they wanted me to do. And, what do you know...they chose one of the ones I hoped they wouldn't. Nonetheless, I made it. Somehow, I am an aerobics instructor, but not just ANY aerobics instructor, this is Jazzercise...where physiologists design each routine and workout! (Can you tell I really believe in this program?) And because of the depth, rigor, and thoroughness of the certification and training process I went through to become one, I think even more highly of Jazzercise.

Most fitness programs do not train or require half this much of their instructors...I am proud to be a part of one that does.

an update (pics coming soon!)

2008-04-09T22:11:00.003-05:00

So, it has been a VERY long time since I've blogged and I'm flattering myself assuming that there are readers out there that have been hanging on the edge of their seats waiting for my next post (yeah right!). A lot has happened since my last post and, for efficiency's sake, I'll summarize...

Over our spring break, Korry and I took a week-long trip to California. We spent three of the seven days in San Francisco visiting one of my older sisters who recently moved there. Here are the highlights:

Korry's first time in San Fran!

We WALKED across the Golden Gate Bridge (1.7 miles of shaking bridge suspended WAY above water...my mom and I thought we were going to die.)

My sister had a lovely trip down Memory Lane as we wandered through her old stomping ground, Berkeley.

Toured THE GOOGLE PLEX. Whoa. Let me just say, there is an alternate universe out there, people. It's called: Google. Unlimited free food for employees, bikes to ride from building to building, recreational facilities in each building. Yeah. Oh, and did you know that every time you search for something on Google.com that they get $0.10? Do the math...

Visited my sister's classroom (she's a teacher). Loved it!

The other 4 days were spent in Palos Verdes and Los Angeles area, where I grew up...with the fam. Highlights include:

Working out in the living room with my mom and sister.

Eating LOTS of great food!

Visited potential churches for when we move there (in less than a year!)

Hunted for houses that we could afford...saw a lot of what we can't afford.

Babysat the two greatest nephews in the world. I even got to read bedtime poems!

Experienced racism first-hand and didn't handle it well...this will have to be a whole other post.

Since spring break came and went, I've kept extremely busy with school. I love love love the classroom I am working in right now. I couldn't agree with the teaching philosophy and approach towards children more. That made it so much easier to fulfill my requirements for this semester. I planned and taught a unit of study on money and it went really well! Now, I am wrapping up my experience there but plan on volunteering in the classroom through the rest of the school year.

As the semester comes to a close (can you believe it?), Korry and I have a lot planned for the summer already.

I am taking an intensive summer course...my last official course before graduation!

Mexico Family Camp - our short-term mission trip building homes in Mexico. Can't wait!

A little post-Mexico vacation in Cali.

August will come sooner than we expect, I'm sure. And it already holds a few things for us...full-time student teaching for me, a Cali job-search for Korry, and getting the house on the market just to name a few. Whoa.

i am still alive

2008-03-27T14:35:00.002-05:00

For those of you who check for my existence via this blog,

Yes, I am still alive. Not ready to write yet, but alive. Traveling and school has consumed me. I will be back soon. I have MUCH to tell you.

Stay tuned...

funny things

2008-02-29T14:56:00.010-05:00

*I was in my 1st/2nd grade classroom that was swarming with 46 children getting ready for the start of another school day when I spotted a boy and girl in a heated discussion by the cubbies (don't you love cubbies?). Anyway, I sneaked behind them to listen in and caught the dialogue, "Um, I think you should just clean it now"..."No, I'll do it later"..."If you clean it now, it'll be easier to keep it clean"..."Ugh!" I couldn't help but to bust up in a cackle...does the man vs. woman bickering really start that early? I guess so.

*The sun came out today for about 3 and a half minutes. Wow. So, I let the dogs out to let them get some vitamin D (do they need vitamin D like humans? anyway...) and within seconds they both plopped on the deck soaking in the rays. They were actually sunbathing! I felt like I should lay towels down and ask them if they'd like any iced tea! Hilarious.

*Another kid story...this first grader was trailing four shoelaces about 3 inches behind each step as I asked him to tie his shoes. He looked at me and, with total seriousness, said "No. I'm a gangster. Gangsters don't tie their shoelaces." Ha!

*I currently have over 50 children's picture books loaned out from the IU and Monroe County Libraries. I can't stop! Help me!

*First thing each morning since I cut 12 inches of my hair off, I secretly walk by the mirror to see if it is still short. It's like I feel like it might have been a dream or something and I'll wake up with all my hair back on.

*I've watched the NFL Scouting Combine on the NFL Network twice now. I think my footballism is getting out of hand. I even watch it as a re-run! What?!

majoring in the minor

2008-01-15T09:23:00.001-05:00

My husband has changed our life. He's decided to "major in the major things" as opposed to "major in the minor things". Perhaps you know what he's talking about, but I needed a little further explanation...stupid type-A personality.

He goes on to explain that for so long he's watched himself (and others...surely me) get all worked up about the smallest, meaningless things. Things that aren't life-changing and probably wouldn't be thought of after 20 minutes of distraction...unless you are me with OCD and type A personality...ugh. He talks about how so many people spend hours, days, lives worrying about things that don't really matter and miss all the things that do. An example? He just gets settled in to his recliner, I ask him to take the trash out (because for some odd reason I need it to be done RIGHT NOW - probably a whole other example), he says "I'll do it in a minute", I get mad (because, in my mind, this has now turned into a test of how much he loves me - I know, I know), and we end up having a stupid fight that ends up consuming more minutes than the trash is worth. This, he would call a VERY MINOR thing. If we were both majoring in the major at the time, I probably would've taken the trash out myself or if I really needed his help with this, asked him to do it when he gets a chance, and if he has just settled into his recliner when I asked, he'd get up and do it knowing that I would appreciate his effort. Hmmmmm...novel idea, huh?

I happen to think that this majoring in the minor/major thing has really shaped our life. Since we made a conscious shift from minor majoring to major majoring (are you getting tongue-tied yet?), our everyday has changed...really. The small things (and they are all small things) don't spark a fire and we spend time talking and dreaming about the big things. As we pass the three-and-a-half year marker of marriage, I feel like we are starting over, in a way...in a major way.

the beginning of the end...

2008-02-13T16:45:00.010-05:00

...has officially started. And, as expected, I'm feeling just about every emotion possible.

9 years ago I came to Bloomington, IN to attend the #1 music school in the nation. Thanks to my dad who vowed that majoring in music would never get me a "real job", I double-majored in English and met my husband. Then I graduated and worked in property management for way too long, got married, worked in non-profit, taught music to kids starting in Kindergarten all the way up to 6th grade, got into grad school at IU, and will finish my Masters degree in December. Wow, I think that was the fastest I have ever told the story of my adult life...or any story for that matter!

I always knew I'd eventually move back to California (my home state and where all my family lives) and I thought it could never come soon enough. Well, now it is approaching. Not like the small dot of a sun on the horizon at sunrise, but more like when a car is slowly pulling up on the curb to pick you up as the headlights come into clearer focus.

Korry started applying for jobs in Cali two weeks ago and to our surprise, they all called him back within a day, scheduled and held phone interviews, and are now talking about "flying him out" to their church. I was filled with Emotion #1: Excitement at the thought that we were actually making steps towards being closer to my family and just as that excitement started to surface,...Enter Emotion #2 and #3: Sadness and Nostalgia.

I started to see everything differently. I started to realize that I was going to have to say goodbye to everyone and everything that has made my life "my life" for the last nine years, most of my adulthood (I moved here when I was 18). You mean, I can't get an extra uhaul for all of that/them? I feel like I have taken so many things and people for granted. I wish I could spend every weekend in the Fort Wayne area with Korry's family being "in charge" of the fire, walking along the river where Korry played as a child, and eating some of the best home-cooking ever. I wish I could eat every meal at Wee Willie's, my recently-found favorite restaurant in Bloomington. I wish I could have friends over every night to talk, eat pizza and play games like we try to do every once and a while. And the list goes on and on...and the days left here get less and less. Enter Emotion #4 and #5: Fear and Anxiety.

How can we get all this together? Can we really do this? We don't have enough money to move there let alone live there. What if we can't find jobs? What if we can't find a place affordable to live? What if, what if, what if?! Enter Emotion #6: Resolve.

I will make every day we have left here the most it can be. I have to. There are two ways to handle leaving: 1) disconnecting so that it is easier to leave when the time comes, or 2) digging in as deep as you can investing all that you have making memories to take with you. I choose to dig in. To invest. To make memories.

So, here's to the beginning of the end of our time here and life as we've known it. Time to dig in!

pheromones...how it all began

2008-02-14T10:17:00.003-05:00

In honor of my Valentine, I'd like to thank our pheromones for always seeking each other out and, of course, for finding each other that very first time on that August night 8 years ago...

Yup. He really said it. He actually said something about termites and a Bic pen figure eight. I thought, how hilarious! My hand tightened around the Coors Lite that was now sweating so badly that my fingers could slide up and down the bottle with really no effort at all. My typical nursing-my-drink ritual often resulted in bottles a little too slippery causing a pre-mature party foul that always got at least one crooked smile with two rolled eyes from across the room. This time, though, I held on as if squeezing it would help my glossy lips corral my erupting smile and silence the barking cackle that was rising up in my throat like when milk is about to come out of your nose. Moving my eyeballs only, I didn’t want him to feel bad about his drunken attempt at a pick-up-line, I searched for Ericka and Gina so I could see if they witnessed what blonde with blue eyes just said to me. I found them in their usual positions, leaning towards their designated boy-targets cocking their heads at just the right angle so the mascara and eyeliner would do their job: luring them in with every bat of their fan-like eyelashes. With an unnaturally pitched giggle here and an intentionally overly-drunk brush against a leg there, my two roommates had the game mastered and I was just an amateur. He must have been one also to say something like that to a half-drunk Sophomore girl wrapped in nothing but a tube for a shirt and the tightest ripped jeans in her closet,

Did you know that if you draw a figure eight with a Bic pen and you put a termite on it, the termite will follow the figure eight around and around?
It’s the pheromones.

It definitely was the pheromones. They were the culprits of the hour-and-a-half pre-event ritual starting with a shower and progressing like movements in a symphony. Starting with hair dryers that looked more like megaphones leading to hallway modeling for final costume approval, these undermining pheromones carried us from keg to keg like ant armies carry fallen pieces of fruit to the feeding grounds where scheming boys wait with the sweetness of non-beer beverages. The cliché rules rang inside my head like rusty, cracked church bells at noon: don’t get separated from your friends, don’t take drinks from anyone, never never leave your drink out of sight, cling, clang, blah blah blah. Whatever. These boys were nice…at least this one was.

hair

2008-02-08T13:42:00.000-05:00

For so long, I have had long hair. The weird part about that is that I have come to define myself according to my hair. My confidence, attitude, and self-image revolve around my hair and if it was a bad hair day, well...it was a bad day altogether.

So, now it gets interesting. Two days ago, I cut off 1 foot of hair...that's 12 inches, folks! Yes, I went into the salon decided that it was time to let go of what I felt made me "me". I am the only one in my family with curly hair, I had finally reached the long-awaited status of "longest hair"among my sisters, and when I looked in the mirror...I saw my hair, not me. So, I cut it off. (And, no, I don't have any acceptable pictures to post yet!) My hair went from my waist to not even my shoulders in one big SNIP. And with that snip, I felt relieved!

Here's to redefining me...with shorter showers, less shampoo, stubby ponytails, and more fun.

What is it about you that seems to define "you"?

Hi. My name is Tessa and I'm an Israelite.

2008-01-28T20:10:00.000-05:00

Everyone: Hi Tessa.

I am the furthest into the Bible I have ever been after 10 years of attempting to read through the entire book. Having just finished the first four books (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers), I have a confession to make: I am an Israelite.

I have seen miracles and been part of them, yet, still grow impatient quickly falling to other idols.
When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, "Come, make us gods who will go before us." (Exodus 32)

I grumble against God, begging and complaining for what it is I believe I need. He hears my grumbles and provides in many ways and still, I cannot follow his simple direction.
However some of them paid no attention...Then the Lord said "How long will you refuse to keep my commands and my instructions?" (Exodus 16)

I am quick to notice what I don't have instead of what I do. And yet, God provides again.
The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had...we never see anything except this manna!" (Numbers 11)

I am consumed by blind selfishness resulting in ignorant and irrational complaints. So quick to forget how God has already revealed Himself to me.
All the Israelites grumbled, "If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert!" The Lord said, "How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them?" (Numbers 14)

I am judgemental and petty with my thoughts, words, and actions. I am reluctant to trust and submit to authority easily becoming self-righteous and eager for recognition.
Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses because of his Cushite wife. "Has the Lord spoken only through Moses? Hasn't he also spoken through us?" (Numbers 12)

It is so easy to read about the Israelites who had to wander for 40 years because they just couldn't "get it" and think, oh...those pathetic people. How could they not believe after all that God brought them through? How could they keep complaining after all of their needs had been met...in the desert and through the sea?!!? What was wrong with them? But the truth is, I am not all that different from these wanderers. I, too, have seen many miracles that should convince me of God's existence in my life. I, too, have been blessed with more than I need and still complain. And I, too, have a lot of things wrong with the way I choose to live. I hope I can "get it" sooner than they did.